Ah, has there ever been a more perfect gift? Now you can wipe your shit, with maybe the greatest shit of American politics.

Each novelty roll has a judicious 400 sheets, double the standard of other novelty rolls. And features the smug face of Donald the Trump in glorious black and white. This way, each chocolaty wipe stands out just right, and gives you an awkward feeling of satisfaction and sense that you are doing your civic duty.

I would only add that you need to just try and resist the urge to constantly take a dump, you want to enjoy your poops, not force too much dookie out at a time!

(Rumour is that it’s also specially endorsed by Hillary Clinton… not too shabby.)